When I was a boy I used to worry that there wasn't enough love to go round. I
thought love was like an apple pie – good stuff, but there was only so much of
it and then it was gone.
When I was born I sort of assumed (as much as
babies can assume things) that I had all my parents’ love. Then my younger brother
was born and I had to share their love with him. Only half a pie now. And worse was to come. The next year another brother was
born and my share of the pie went down to a third. Oh dear, what a disaster…..
No wonder we used to fight so much. The
arguments we had on Sundays over who had the most fizzy drink with our roast
dinner were nobody’s business!
Luckily for me, I thought, no more brothers
or sisters arrived to take even more pie away from me. A third of a pie was
better than nothing.
But of course, I realise now that this
is all nonsense.
Love isn’t like that at all. It’s not finite, it’s infinite. In fact, weirdly,
the more love you have the more there is around to share.
Another way of putting this – for those who
like maths or game theory - is that love is not a zero sum. My gain is not your loss. My gain is also your gain. Or, if
you like chemistry, we can state that love (like gas) expands to fill the space available.
And we can build up our capacity for love
through meditation, and practicing random
acts of kindness.
Why am I thinking about this now?
Well, it’s because I’ve just had a delightful
cuddle this morning with Heath, my newest grandchild.
And a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in a (fortunately
large) tent in the Peak District in the pouring rain with thirteen family
members of various ages. It was busy, noisy,
chaotic, exhausting - and yet totally wonderful to be part of all those loving interconnections.
I’ve got so many grandchildren now it’s easy
to lose count, but the brilliant thing for me is that it simple doesn’t matter.
They are all equally loveable, and there is no sense at all in my old worry that
I somehow have to cut that love into bits and share it around.
Unlike the apple pie, there is plenty of love and always more
to go round!
