tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31477391856278670932024-03-12T21:59:27.990-07:00well becominga blog about being well, becoming well, staying well - and flourishing. Written by a professor and family doctor living in Liverpool, UKAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-79919520596731699912018-07-28T09:22:00.000-07:002018-07-28T09:24:34.891-07:00Peanut Brittle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><i>This post is from Sue</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DjSTxQsedSU/W1yX-7FTRvI/AAAAAAAAAaM/Zre3qsOA2MYts8ObpIoZbnz5gxSJa68bQCLcBGAs/s1600/peanut%2Bbrittle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="299" height="179" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DjSTxQsedSU/W1yX-7FTRvI/AAAAAAAAAaM/Zre3qsOA2MYts8ObpIoZbnz5gxSJa68bQCLcBGAs/s320/peanut%2Bbrittle.jpg" width="320" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
mum and I loved peanut brittle . Expensive presents weren’t the order of the
day growing up but once I started work one year I bought her a whole sweet jar
full.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she still had all her own
teeth!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Just
recently I was quite sad as a good friend had been diagnosed with cancer<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So one of my daughters sent me a present to
cheer me up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Included in it was a slice
of peanut brittle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly I was
smiling, going back through the years to my childhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn’t actually about the peanut brittle,
that was just the catalyst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what was
it about?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And what about those who don’t
have ‘peanut brittle‘ memories to fall back on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
was very lucky. There are so many little things that remind me how safe and
valued I felt growing up, although we only realise these things
retrospectively.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The things that made me
feel OK as a person, first as a child and later on as an adult.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
actually we are all okay as people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
just that if no-one helps us to realise that growing up we have to find ways of
doing it for ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A
very common way is not to remember anything: “Oh that’s in the past, for me it’s
a bit of a blank “ Bit of a shame really as you are blocking out all the clever
ways you managed to survive growing up in a difficult environment, all the
things you managed to work out for yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Or
you only remember the bad things you were told or believed about yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“My
mother says I was born an angry child”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t think so but it makes some sort of crazy sense if your life was
not good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
maybe the most complicated one to deal with as we get older, we pretend it was
all OK!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So
what can we do about all this?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Firstly,
keep repeating to yourself my dad’s mantra: ”<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You’re as good as anyone and better than no one</b>”. Never mind that
you don’t quite believe it yet. Just keep saying it. It affects how you feel
about yourself and other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And how
you treat yourself and other people: as equals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Then
if you’re past wasn’t good enough make sure your future is better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work out the things that make you feel good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not what other people think, it’s what
you think. I mean going swimming fills me with fear and dread. For someone else
it’s a fantastic way to relax. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And
it doesn’t matter what it is you like. Train spotting, watching Coronation Street,
computer games, doing nothing. All valid if it’s your choice. Rebuild your
world as you want it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes, I know
it’s not always that easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But remember
the mantra – you’re as good as anyone and better than no one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go on, you deserve it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-20198775982667042872018-04-15T01:07:00.000-07:002018-04-16T00:11:42.723-07:00Stage 6: Delight<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Today we complete our journey from despair to
delight, with six of Gerard Manley Hopkins’ sonnets as our travel guide. To
celebrate, we share his pleasure in his own favourite poem, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Windhover:</i></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I caught this
morning morning's minion<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">minion</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> favorite, darling; also, an underling or
servant</span>, king-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
dom of daylight's dauphin<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">dauphin</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> prince; a French historical term, along with
“chevalier”</span>, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">High there, how
he rung upon the rein of a wimpling<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">wimpling</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> rippling</span> wing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In his ecstasy!
then off, off forth on swing,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
As a skate's heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Stirred for a
bird, – the achieve of, the mastery of the thing!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Brute beauty
and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
Buckle! <b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">Buckle!</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> to bend, attach; prepare for flight or
battle. The verb could be descriptive of the bird’s action, or it could be the
speaker’s imperative. </span>AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Times told
lovelier, more dangerous, O my chevalier!<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">chevalier</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">
French word for “knight” or “champion”; pronounced Chev-ah-leer, to rhyme with
“here” and “dear”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> No
wonder of it: shéer plód<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">shéer plód</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> slowly, laboriously, and without break;
these accent marks, inserted by Hopkins, tell the reader to place more accent
or emphasis on those syllables when reading aloud</span> makes plough down
sillion<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">sillion</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> Fresh soil upturned by a plow (“plough”)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Shine, and
blue-bleak embers, ah my dear<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">ah my
dear</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> Compare with the same
phrase in the poem </span></span><a href="http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=173632" target="_blank"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; display: none; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Love (III)”</span></a><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; display: none; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> by George Herbert, a poet
Hopkins admired.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
Fall, gall<b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;">gall</span></b><span style="display: none; mso-hide: all;"> to become sore, crack, or chafe</span>
themselves, and gash gold-vermilion</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d1ooXzp-4jo/WtMG-ugnKuI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/CYKiKyrm7-E4wn1f2Ruklqo68XnNqMIBACLcBGAs/s1600/windhover3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="739" data-original-width="1025" height="230" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d1ooXzp-4jo/WtMG-ugnKuI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/CYKiKyrm7-E4wn1f2Ruklqo68XnNqMIBACLcBGAs/s320/windhover3.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
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This sonnet really does work best when you read
it out loud. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It takes a few goes to get
the rhythm of it, especially the first few lines. Do try it yourself - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you’ll soon find you are flying with the
falcon, up and down, barely taking a breath until the first full stop arrives, half
way though line seven.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then you can have a rest and check out some
of the words and images. In line 2, ’dauphin’ means ‘crown prince’. In line 6
the imagery is ice-skating – for us today it could as easily be skiing in the
Alps, or surfing the waves of Cornwall. Lines 9-11 give the image of the prince
on horseback fastening (buckling) his armour. In lines 12-13, ‘plough
down sillion shine’ refers to the way that soil, when turned over by a plough,
becomes big and shiny. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the final
line, ‘gall’ means graze or scrape, and ‘gold-vermilion’ is the colour of fire,
or fresh blood.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Hopkins used
the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">i</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">nscape </span></i><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">to refer to
the charged essence of a thing (a tree, a landscape, a sunset or – in this case
– a falcon); the absolute individuality that gives each thing its being, </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">its uniqueness, its sanctity, its purpose in the
world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He created a second word, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">instress, </i>to refer to the energy that
holds the thing together and – importantly – to the </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">impulse which carries it whole into the mind of the
person seeing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His heart stirs for
the falcon, he is at one with it in its mastery of the air. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We can gain
profound courage from this sonnet. The beauty and joy of the falcon,
ecstatically riding the wind, infuses with his energy not only Hopkins the poet
but also ourselves the readers. It prompts us to celebrate those moments in our
own lives when we are effortlessly magnificent and free. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He inspires us
to believe in a glittering luminous core to our own being - a core not crushed
by the ‘sheer plod’ of our daily activities, but brought by them to the
surface, honed and sparkling in the sun. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; display: none; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">shéer plód</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; display: none; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> slowly, laboriously, and
without break; these accent marks, inserted by Hopkins, tell the reader to
place more accent or emphasis on those syllables when reading aloud</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And all this in
full awareness that our existence is precious but precarious; that danger or
death may be lurking around the corner. An awareness that only heightens the
intensity of our joy for life in the present moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-64502985229620318222018-04-13T00:19:00.000-07:002018-04-16T00:11:30.344-07:00Stage 5: Comfort of Others<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We’ve now
reached stage 5 of our travels with Gerard Manley Hopkins – and here we find his
sonnet <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Felix Randal.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Felix Randal
the farrier, O is he dead then? my duty all ended, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Who have
watched his mould of man, big-boned and hardy-handsome <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Pining, pining,
till time when reason rambled in it, and some <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Fatal four
disorders, fleshed there, all contended? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Sickness broke
him. Impatient, he cursed at first, but mended <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Being anointed
and all; though a heavenlier heart began some <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Months earlier,
since I had our sweet reprieve and ransom <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Tendered to
him. Ah well, God rest him all road ever he offended! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This seeing the
sick endears them to us, us too it endears. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My tongue had
taught thee comfort, touch had quenched thy tears, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Thy tears that
touched my heart, child, Felix, poor Felix Randal; <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">How far from
then forethought of, all thy more boisterous years, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When thou at
the random grim forge, powerful amidst peers,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Didst fettle
for the great grey drayhorse his bright and battering sandal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This poem is about the life and the death of a
Liverpool blacksmith, whose real name was Felix Spencer. He died of pulmonary
tuberculosis at the age of 31 - the average life expectancy in Liverpool at
that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It may seems strange that I’m suggesting a poem
about death and dying can help us on our journey from despair to delight, but I
really think it can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XM64v-T68Zo/WtBYiSKswMI/AAAAAAAAAYs/2W5DVK1fawoo3XZ23Ih6gNc9nTzOpVeoACLcBGAs/s1600/Felix%2BRandal1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="180" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XM64v-T68Zo/WtBYiSKswMI/AAAAAAAAAYs/2W5DVK1fawoo3XZ23Ih6gNc9nTzOpVeoACLcBGAs/s320/Felix%2BRandal1.jpg" width="203" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">A few words and phrases may need explaining first.
In line 4, ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fatal four disorders’</i>
probably refers to the Catholic notion that there are four elements of original
sin. In line 13, ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">random</i>’ means built
of rough stone. In line 14 ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fettle</i>’
means ‘make ready’, and ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sandal’</i> is a
classical term for an early form of horseshoe. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I find a very strong affinity with Hopkins throughout
this poem. He wrote it just a few minutes’ walk from my University office,
where I am sitting right now. So it feels particularly real and tangible to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For me it resonates strongly with the real world
relationships I enjoy as a family doctor today. His vivid description of Felix
crumbling in the face of disease. His application of the best evidence-based
care (though for Hopkins his evidence comes from Catholic doctrine, not NICE
Guidelines).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> His b</span>earing witness to Felix
the man, ‘powerful amidst peers’ in his ‘more boisterous years’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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</div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">But above all, in the mutual benefits that</span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 115%;"> derive from his care of
Felix as his death approaches. I find the heart of this sonnet is in lines 8 to
10: ‘</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This seeing the
sick endears them to us, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">us too it
endears</b>’</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sight, words, touch and tears - all shared,
in a beautiful reciprocity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This is an
opportunity for all of us. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Connecting and giving are two of </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">the </span><a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/workplace/mental-health-at-work/taking-care-of-yourself/five-ways-to-wellbeing/"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Five Ways to Wellbeing</span></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We can recognize – and accept as entirely
reasonable and legitimate - that we ourselves receive comfort, a greater sense
of wellbeing, as we provide comfort to others. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We feel, we become, appreciated - and loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br clear="all" style="mso-special-character: line-break; page-break-before: always;" />
<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-47577454094972461802018-04-10T08:52:00.001-07:002018-04-16T01:12:13.032-07:00Stage 4: Comfort of Self<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">We’re now at the fourth stage of our journey
from despair to delight, and it’s beginning to get a little easier.</span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">Here is today’s sonnet by Gerard Manley
Hopkins: </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My own heart
let me more have pity on; let<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me live to my
sad self hereafter kind,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Charitable; not
live this tormented mind<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">With this
tormented mind tormenting yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I cast for
comfort I can no more get<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">By groping
round my comfortless, than blind<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Eyes in their
dark can day or thirst can find<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Thirst's
all-in-all in all a world of wet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Soul, self;
come, poor Jackself, I do advise<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You, jaded, let
be; call off thoughts awhile<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Elsewhere;
leave comfort root-room; let joy size<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">At God knows
when to God knows what; whose smile<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">'s not wrung,
see you; unforeseen times rather — as skies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Betweenpie mountains — lights a lovely mile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A couple of clarifications - Hopkins often
uses adjectives to stand in for nouns, as in line 6, ‘comfortless
(world)’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he likes to create new words,
such as ‘betweenpie’ in the last line. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There is a sense of interior space in this
poem, of having (at long last) a little room to rest, to breathe, to grow. And
a great message, that we deserve kindness and love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Hopkins is beginning to be gentler with his
‘sad self’, giving himself a break from his incessant internal critical
chatter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s time to ‘call off thoughts
awhile elsewhere’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We can do the same. We can take time out from tormenting ourselves about why we feel
so unhappy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 18.6667px;">We can resist our negative thoughts. </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">I can stop yelling “Just
pull yourself together, stupid” inside my own head.</span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">You can recognise your own worth. You can realise
that it’s alright to feel the way you do.</span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">For </span><a href="http://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Kristin Neff</span></a><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">, self-compassion
has three basic elements: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">self-kindness</i>,
in place of self-judgement; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">common
humanity</i> in place of isolation; and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mindfulness,
</i>observing rather than identifying with our negative thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We can be compassionate to ourselves – have
pity on our hearts - just as much as we are towards others. We can treat
ourselves just as well as we treat our friends and the people we love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I love Hopkins’ phrase ‘leave comfort root-room’.
It’s about giving ourselves permission and space for a sense of ease and
well-being to set down roots and begin to grow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Maybe it’s time for a duvet-day - or two…. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YK-99NN0wD4/WszcVzAxiEI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/QBsH1lgY9kE67tnkv-FVNVKraWwnZMTfQCLcBGAs/s1600/betweenpie4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="181" data-original-width="279" height="207" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YK-99NN0wD4/WszcVzAxiEI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/QBsH1lgY9kE67tnkv-FVNVKraWwnZMTfQCLcBGAs/s320/betweenpie4.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And then, who knows, joy may (increase in) size
and catch us unawares. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hopkins’
evocative image of God’s smile, distilled within his new word ‘betweenpie’, is
of a brightly dappled sky seen between dark mountains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For him that brings memories of the hills of
north Wales. For me it conjures up childhood days of sunshine over Glendalough
in Ireland.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">We can help our own smiles to grow.
One way that works for me is the meditation technique of visualising a
constant, infinite stream of warm, spacious, liquid sunshine; pouring in
through my head; slowly and gradually filling my body, from my toes all the way
upwards.</span><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-46941277751980751382018-04-08T01:54:00.000-07:002018-04-16T00:11:03.502-07:00Stage 3: Determination<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">The third Hopkins’ poem I’ve chosen to guide us on our journey from
despair to delight is called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Carrion
Comfort.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Not,
I'll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee; <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Not
untwist — slack they may be — these last strands of man <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In
me ór, most weary, cry <i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0cm; padding: 0cm;">I can no more</span></i>. I
can; <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Can
something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">But
ah, but O thou terrible, why wouldst thou rude on me <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Thy
wring-world right foot rock? lay a lionlimb against me? scan <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">With
darksome devouring eyes my bruisèd bones? and fan, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">O
in turns of tempest, me heaped there; me frantic to avoid thee and flee? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">
Why? That my chaff might fly; my grain lie, sheer and clear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nay
in all that toil, that coil, since (seems) I kissed the rod, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Hand
rather, my heart lo! lapped strength, stole joy, would laugh, chéer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Cheer
whom though? the hero whose heaven-handling flung me, fóot tród <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Me?
or me that fought him? O which one? is it each one? That night, that year <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Of
now done darkness I wretch lay wrestling with (my God!) my God. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Now
there’s a fair bit of difficult stuff in this poem, which we’ll not worry about
too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example how Hopkins likes
to use adjectives like ‘rude’ as verbs; or phrases like ‘I kissed the rod’
which means taking holy orders, becoming a priest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Let’s
focus on the first four lines, which are all about his thoughts of suicide. Hopkins
is not just accepting his despair. Now has started to wrestle with it. He is
not going to die. He is not going to let anyone or anything feast on his rotting remains. He is not
giving up – even though he knows how hard it is to keep going - as we can see
from his double negative ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not choose not
to be’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>He can. He can stay alive.
He can hope.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Unlike
Hamlet wondering whether ‘<i>to be or not to
be’</i>, or Keats who was ‘<i>half I love
with easeful death’</i>, Hopkins is <b>determined
to survive</b>. Like the <i>conatus – </i>desire
- of my favourite philosopher Spinoza, these lines are all about his dogged,
bloody-minded resolve to keep going, come what may. And we can draw immense strength from that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">There’s
a lot more wrestling in the rest of the poem, but it’s no longer with himself.
Now it’s a conflict between Hopkins and his God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can take this more generally. Since we have
decided we are going to stick around, we can decide there is no point in just
meekly accepting our fate. We can decide to stand up and be counted. We can
decide to do battle with the conditions that have been grinding us down. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But
what’s the point?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Maybe
it’s to strip away the ‘chaff’, the rubbish that surrounds us, so that our ‘grain’,
our inner being, lies ‘sheer and clear’. Maybe it’s to find out that we are
strong, strong enough to grapple with the toughest of them all, and not be
defeated. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And
we have a clue in the last line that the worst is over, as ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">of now done darkness’ </i>shifts these
experiences from present to past tense.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-68553609957150350732018-04-05T23:56:00.000-07:002018-04-16T00:10:50.323-07:00Stage 2: Detachment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">The
second Hopkins poem on our journey from despair to delight is also deeply troubling,
but it does offer us a glimmer of light along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">A
note before you start reading: in the first line, the word ‘fell’ means ‘deadly,
ferocious evil’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What hours, O what black hoürs we have spent<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This night! what sights you, heart, saw; the ways you went!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And more must, in yet longer light's delay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With witness I
speak this! But where I say<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hours I mean years, mean life. And my lament<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Is cries countless, cried like dead letters sent<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To dearest him that lives alas! away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am gall, I am heartburn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God's most deep decree<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bitter would have me taste: my taste was me;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bones built in me, flesh filled, blood brimmed the curse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I
see<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The lost are like this, and their scourge to be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-hyphenate: none; tab-stops: -36.0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">The main message Hopkins conveys
to me in this poem is his dreadful sense of loss; endless separation from the
one he loves; sourness and bitterness; visceral, heart-wrenching grief. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">And yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">He finds an element of detachmen<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">t</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite his obvious distress, Hopkins is able to write perfectly formed
classic sonnet lines: ten syllables, with the stress on every second one: ‘I <u>wake
</u>and <u>feel </u>the <u>fell</u> of <u>dark </u>not <u>day</u>’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then in the final six lines, he decides
to vary the rhyming structure from the standard <cde cde> of the previous poem to <ccd ccd> (decree/me/curse; see/be/worse). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jOAhVBAkZ1A/WscZdpVsSqI/AAAAAAAAAXc/muXU08fnV8Q6Q7lG9DefRiZm401WNAPfACLcBGAs/s1600/thunderstorm%2Bwindow%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="299" height="179" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jOAhVBAkZ1A/WscZdpVsSqI/AAAAAAAAAXc/muXU08fnV8Q6Q7lG9DefRiZm401WNAPfACLcBGAs/s320/thunderstorm%2Bwindow%2B1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">There is resonance again with
mindfulness meditation - with the point at which we begin to create a space
between ourselves and the pain and distress. Instead of being caught outside in
the middle of a thunderstorm, we begin to watch the thunderstorm through a
window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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H<span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt;">e has some inner
company in this time of trouble. Within the first three lines, Hopkins’ switch from the first person ‘I’
to ‘we’ (I plus heart) to ‘you’ (heart). So he is not dealing with all this on
his own. His heart is taking some of the burden for him. </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , serif; font-size: 14pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">And maybe there is a<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>purpose for him, behind all this
suffering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With ‘I see’ at the end of
line 14, Hopkins suggests that this experience is enabling him to understand the torment
of lost souls. We do not have to share his views on the afterlife to gain value
from this idea. If we have experienced grief and loss ourselves, we are so much
better placed to offer empathy and compassion to people we know who going through it all now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-4909709868370392532018-04-03T10:03:00.002-07:002018-04-16T00:10:30.791-07:00Stage 1: Despair<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-f60DeaqjbxM/WsOzXkigPXI/AAAAAAAAAXA/8gS2P8stlHA0sS9uSgj6qvwFlOzLlwFogCLcBGAs/s1600/hopkins%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="221" data-original-width="228" height="193" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-f60DeaqjbxM/WsOzXkigPXI/AAAAAAAAAXA/8gS2P8stlHA0sS9uSgj6qvwFlOzLlwFogCLcBGAs/s200/hopkins%2B2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">It's time to take the first step on our journey from
despair to delight, taken in the company of the poet Gerard Manley Hopkins. We’re
going to jump straight in with what, for me, is Hopkins’ most desolate sonnet.</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Here it is: take a deep breath, and read:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">No worst, there is none.
Pitched past pitch of grief,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>More pangs will, schooled at forepangs, wilder ring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Comforter, where, where is your comforting?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mary, mother of us, where is your relief?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My cries heave, herds-long; huddle in a main, a chief-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Woe, wórld-sorrow; on an áge old anvil wince and sing -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then lull, then leave off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fury has shrieked 'No ling-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>ering! Let me be fell: force I must be brief'.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>O the mind,
mind has mountains; cliffs of fall<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Frightful, sheer, no-man-fathomed. Hold them cheap<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>May who ne'er hung there. Nor does long our small<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Durance deal with that steep or deep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here! creep,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Wretch, under a comfort serves in a whirlwind: all<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "gill sans mt" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Life
death does end and each day dies with sleep. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yes, it’s a tough one, isn’t it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s probably the most troubled and troubling
poem I have ever read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grief upon grief.
Fury after fury. An endless falling into nothingness. Nobody there to offer any
comfort or relief. The only possibilities of escape are sleep or death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So how could this dread-full poem ever be
helpful to someone in the depths of despair?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Well, I think it offer us comfort in three ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">First, it makes a <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">connection </b>for us. I first read this poem when I was 18, soon after
a big relationship break-up and living in a place and with people I didn’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt totally alone, and utterly miserable.
And I realised: this guy understands what I’m going through, he’s been there
himself, he’s talking my language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So
there was a link for me with Hopkins, a sense of shared experience. And I
didn’t feel quite so alone. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Other people I know have felt the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">‘It’s like finding a friend,’ </span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">someone told me recently;<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">’ I felt like he was sitting next to me, reading to me. It brings a
closeness.’ <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Second,
reading a poem like this can help us accept that it’s OK, it’s <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">legitimate</b> to feel so distressed - something
we may often doubt or feel guilty about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">‘It’s allowed, you’re entitled to
feel that depth.’</i></span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And third, there is something powerful and
impressive about Hopkins’ absolute, raw<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
honesty</b> here - his ability to give deep expression to the reality of his
experiences, however terrifying that reality may be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no pretending, no denying, no hiding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">You may know that mindfulness meditation is
helpful for people who have recurring experiences of depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this is precisely where mindfulness
begins – resting </span><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">in the present moment, however
difficult that moment happens to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Staying
with the reality of our situation. Without judgment or evaluation. Without avoiding
the problems we face, or trying to solve them. Just being there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt; line-height: 150%;">This is the first stage of the journey. If Hopkins has the courage to face
his misery head on, then so can we.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-5340562337219330262018-04-02T04:50:00.001-07:002018-04-02T04:50:50.184-07:00From Despair to Delight: a journey of six sonnets <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div style="border-image: none; line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fM4IA2A5Ip8/WsIXhGDED5I/AAAAAAAAAWo/FOwo3sw_tGY6qAP1yg42vgqjaTUz0dLdQCLcBGAs/s1600/hopkins%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="213" data-original-width="170" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fM4IA2A5Ip8/WsIXhGDED5I/AAAAAAAAAWo/FOwo3sw_tGY6qAP1yg42vgqjaTUz0dLdQCLcBGAs/s320/hopkins%2B3.jpg" width="255" /></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’ve been
reading a lot of Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poetry recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I've realised that his sonnets can offer
relief and hope for people going through a period of deep distress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’m going to
show you what I mean in this series of posts.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Hopkins was
one of the most original poets writing in English during the 19<sup>th</sup>
century.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout his life he
experienced a range of intense emotions, from utter misery to great joy. And he
has an astonishing ability to express his emotions in his poetry. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’ve chosen
six of Hopkins’ sonnets which, I suggest, can take us on a healing journey: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>from despair, through detachment and
determination, to comfort of self and comfort of others, and finally to delight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first four are taken from his so-called
‘Terrible Sonnets’, written in Dublin in 1885 during a period of profound sadness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fifth was written in Liverpool in 1880,
while he was working as a local priest. The final one, his own personal
favourite, was composed in north Wales in 1877. </span></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’ll present
each poem in turn, and then make some comments on how they might help us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Four things
before we start on the journey.</span></div>
<br />
<ol style="direction: ltr; list-style-type: decimal;">
<li style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><div style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The first
three of these sonnets are very bleak indeed, so do take care of yourself while
reading them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they strike a deep
chord, then make sure you have someone you can talk them over with. </span></div>
</li>
<li style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><div style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Religion is
very important to Hopkins, and permeates all his literary imagery. He became a
Jesuit priest, having converted to Catholicism (a very radical move at the
time) while a student at Oxford. But it is not at all necessary for us to share
his beliefs to get immense value from his poetry.</span></div>
</li>
<li style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><div style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Sonnet structure:
Hopkins adopts the standard 14 lines for each sonnet, like Petrarch and
Shakespeare before him. Like Petrarch (but unlike Shakespeare) he usually
divides them into two parts: the first eight lines set out the main theme, and
the last six lines offering a response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unlike
both Petrarch and Shakespeare, Hopkins often moves away from the standard
format of ten syllables a line, with stress on each second syllable; he enjoys experimenting
with the length and rhythm of each line. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
</li>
<li style="color: black; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><div style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Reading the
poems: I recommend you read through each one a few times, to get the general
style and rhythm in your mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, for
maximum effect, read it <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">out loud.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This way you really begin to hear how his
words sound and interact with each other. </span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> <span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">OK, with all this in mind, we can begin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will introduce the first sonnet for this
journey – ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No worst there is none’</i> –
in my next post, in a couple of days’ time. </span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-30994884606996213932017-03-29T10:33:00.001-07:002017-03-30T06:00:27.569-07:00In praise of our electric blanket<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><o:p></o:p></span></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve been
worrying quite a bit recently – partly about family problems and work
pressures, which I can do something about; and partly about the corrosive
effects of Brexit and Trump, which I can’t do anything much
about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then I’ve found myself
worrying about worrying, which is more worrying still - and definitely not to be
recommended. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">So after
discussing all this with my daughter Anna, I decided it’s time to look up my old
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3147739185627867093#editor/target=post;postID=8812771473461440227;onPublishedMenu=audiencestats;onClosedMenu=audiencestats;postNum=51;src=postname" target="_blank">wellbeing recipes</a>, dust them off and see if they need any updating. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">For those of
you who don’t know, a wellbeing recipe is a list – a set of ingredients – of
things which give you pleasure and help you feel better about yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not a fixed list. Wellbeing recipes vary
from one person to the next, and for each person they can change over time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My old
recipe included some ingredients, like walking in the mountains and diving
through waves in the ocean, which are great but not immediately practical for
me at the moment. So I’ve worked out a new recipe, composed of ingredients I
can use easily and often.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Here are some
of the main ingredients:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LWdXZaUIbCI/WNvuRHDzoCI/AAAAAAAAAUY/IlVHLEjraOUkCmNdG-s2x1gOEKWw8bwkwCLcB/s1600/meditation.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LWdXZaUIbCI/WNvuRHDzoCI/AAAAAAAAAUY/IlVHLEjraOUkCmNdG-s2x1gOEKWw8bwkwCLcB/s320/meditation.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">A
few minutes of mindfulness meditation every morning, using the Headspace app on
my i-phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m following a set about anxiety
at the moment, which is helping me to explore my sensations of stress without feeling
I’m being swallowed up by them – imagining, instead of being caught outside in
in a storm, that I’m safe inside a house watching the storm through a window. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2J8CrdqfJ4c/WNvvvm_xtuI/AAAAAAAAAUk/6IyjbqH7KdAtu4wpK25WJQl8RLRdJ2beQCLcB/s1600/parkrun.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2J8CrdqfJ4c/WNvvvm_xtuI/AAAAAAAAAUk/6IyjbqH7KdAtu4wpK25WJQl8RLRdJ2beQCLcB/s1600/parkrun.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">The
parkrun at Croxteth Hall on a Saturday morning gives me a great sense of
wellbeing, especially now that I’ve managed to stop stressing about how fast
I’m going and can enjoy the run for its own sake. There’s one section of the
course, when sunlight glistens through woodland onto some ponds, which is
magical. And running with my daughters is a huge bonus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">My
afternoon siesta<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, </i>which I’ve built
into my routine since my cycling accident, is a must-do these days. It stops me
from wearing myself out, restores my energy, my memory and my creativity. Highly
recommended! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Watching
detective programmes on TV with Sue has been in my wellbeing recipe for ages,
and it still helps me unwind of an evening. Elementary and Inspector Lynley are
our current favourites. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">At
the end of the day, I’ve started reminding myself of three things I’ve been
grateful for - and one thing I’ve done well - during that day. They can be
small or big things, it really doesn’t matter. This simple exercise, focusing
on what’s gone well for me, does a great job of settling my mind down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ABznyELWBgQ/WNvtrUQKfiI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/TOzXiT1az0EMRvfLADtx6o6pPDYS7KRHQCLcB/s1600/dogs%2Bin%2Bbed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ABznyELWBgQ/WNvtrUQKfiI/AAAAAAAAAUQ/TOzXiT1az0EMRvfLADtx6o6pPDYS7KRHQCLcB/s1600/dogs%2Bin%2Bbed.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "symbol"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">And
finally, sliding under the duvet and into bed, with our double electric blanket
turned on to full heat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A wonderful,
warm, comforting cocoon to snuggle into. Blissful, utterly blissful. Thank you,
and good night. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-54140752819294081532017-03-01T08:58:00.000-08:002017-03-01T08:58:26.674-08:00Conducting an orchestra<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QkE71KVKaI4/WLb57REtllI/AAAAAAAAAT8/tKm-CBHElKQuvtbYd7_bwSXhLeLSsz7ggCLcB/s1600/WWPMH%2Blogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QkE71KVKaI4/WLb57REtllI/AAAAAAAAAT8/tKm-CBHElKQuvtbYd7_bwSXhLeLSsz7ggCLcB/s320/WWPMH%2Blogo.jpg" width="295" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">A few months ago, I was elected Chair of the World Organisation of Family Doctors' (WONCA) Working Party for Mental Health. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes I know, that is rather a mouthful! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But what it means in reality is this: I now have the privilege of working with family doctors and their colleagues around the world, to help to improve the mental health of their patients. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And it really is a privilege.... it's like being the conductor of a high quality symphony orchestra. There are so many excellent family doctors, doing so many important things in the field of primary mental health care - it is exciting to hear them all, and to help people to work more effectively together. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For example, in Brazil we are arranging a series of mental health training programmes for family doctors, based on the World Health Organisation's <a href="http://www.who.int/mental_health/publications/mhGAP_intervention_guide/en/" target="_blank">mhGAP programme</a>. In the Eastern Mediterranean region, we are working with many others to develop comprehensive community based mental health systems. And in China and Eastern Europe we are finding new ways to help family doctors gain more confidence and skill in diagnosing common mental health problems. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We are also acting as advocates for vulnerable groups in our communities, including people with severe mental illness, and asylum seekers traumatized by their experiences.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You can read more about us, and keep in touch with our activities and progress, through <a href="http://www.globalfamilydoctor.com/groups/WorkingParties/MentalHealth3.aspx" target="_blank">this link to the WONCA website</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-31076726299471133052016-09-16T07:00:00.000-07:002016-09-16T07:01:48.100-07:00Love is not an apple pie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ClrZL11GRpM/V9v5GFcqGII/AAAAAAAAATA/_AN5cfJoWJ49NWXFmrOUyZYDBGaWfXrLQCLcB/s1600/apple%2Bpie.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ClrZL11GRpM/V9v5GFcqGII/AAAAAAAAATA/_AN5cfJoWJ49NWXFmrOUyZYDBGaWfXrLQCLcB/s1600/apple%2Bpie.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">When I was a boy I used to worry that there wasn't enough love to go round.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
thought love was like an apple pie – good stuff, but there was only so much of
it and then it was gone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">When I was born I sort of assumed (as much as
babies can assume things) that I had all my parents’ love. Then my younger brother
was born and I had to share their love with him. Only half a pie now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And worse was to come. The next year another brother was
born and my share of the pie went down to a third. Oh dear, what a disaster….. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">No wonder we used to fight so much. The
arguments we had on Sundays over who had the most fizzy drink with our roast
dinner were nobody’s business! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Luckily for me, I thought, no more brothers
or sisters arrived to take even more pie away from me. A third of a pie was
better than nothing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">But of course, I realise now that this
is all nonsense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Love isn’t like that at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not finite, it’s infinite. In fact, weirdly,
the more love you have the more there is around to share. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Another way of putting this – for those who
like maths or game theory - is that love is not a zero sum. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My gain is not your loss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My gain is also your gain. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, if
you like chemistry, we can state that love (like gas) expands to fill the space available.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And we can build up our capacity for love
through meditation, and practicing <a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/kindness-of-strangers.html"><span style="color: blue;">random
acts of kindness</span></a>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Why am I thinking about this now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Well, it’s because I’ve just had a delightful
cuddle this morning with Heath, my newest grandchild. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w881vrOJzYM/V9v5YbxrvAI/AAAAAAAAATE/mSOjUAWhU3wP_2sfeTPcPoTFC4RKBMnpgCLcB/s1600/family%2Bin%2Btent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w881vrOJzYM/V9v5YbxrvAI/AAAAAAAAATE/mSOjUAWhU3wP_2sfeTPcPoTFC4RKBMnpgCLcB/s400/family%2Bin%2Btent.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">And a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in a (fortunately
large) tent in the Peak District in the pouring rain with thirteen family
members of various ages. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was busy, noisy,
chaotic, exhausting - and yet totally wonderful to be part of all those loving interconnections.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">I’ve got so many grandchildren now it’s easy
to lose count, but the brilliant thing for me is that it simple doesn’t matter.
They are all equally loveable, and there is no sense at all in my old worry that
I somehow have to cut that love into bits and share it around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%;">Unlike the apple pie, there is plenty of love and always more
to go round!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-71364635965125108052016-08-14T04:07:00.000-07:002016-08-14T04:07:42.510-07:00Caring for ourselves<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the last four posts I’ve been thinking about suffering
and hope – <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> ways </span>to listen better to the
suffering of others, how sharing brings the beginning of hope, the need to be
thoughtfully positive, and how to offering practical hopefulness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It does work. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Darren’s been coming to see me for a while now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is still alive. He still mostly rants, and
I still mostly listen, but there’s less booze and fewer fights in his life.
He’s got a girlfriend and a dog, and his drumming skills have found outlet in
two local bands – one with a possible recording contract. We’re both beginning
to feel more hopeful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div align="center">
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="mso-cellspacing: 0cm; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 0cm 0cm; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184;">
<tbody>
<tr style="mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;">
<td style="background-color: transparent; border: rgb(0, 0, 0); padding: 0cm;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To be able to offer hope to people in distress,
we need to take good care of ourselves. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">With the frequent pressures we find in our own lives,
whether its hassles within our families or problems in work – or </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">an awareness of our own frailty and mortality in the face
of traumatic accident or life-threatening disease – when we find ourselves <a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/trudging-through-treacle.html"><span style="color: blue;">trudging
through treacle</span></a>, we do well to recognize our own suffering and give
ourselves the freedom to hope. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve written before about how helpful
it can be<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to create a </span><a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/well-being-recipes.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">well-being
recipe</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">, where you write down a list of all the ingredients of life that
help you flourish, and then use them to build up something positive when you’re
feeling down or harassed. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zLaSrErrz4s/V7BQl3qCHCI/AAAAAAAAASo/himZx8gBKhQiHBRwDyibTM-jghY8S5buwCLcB/s1600/meditation.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zLaSrErrz4s/V7BQl3qCHCI/AAAAAAAAASo/himZx8gBKhQiHBRwDyibTM-jghY8S5buwCLcB/s200/meditation.png" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s good to refresh the ingredients
from time to time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ironing shirts is still
on my list, but I’ve added in mindfulness meditation, and parkruns are now part
of my own well-being recipe.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And it is great to have </span><a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2011/01/fresh-starts.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">fresh
starts,</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> to try out new experiences we’ve never had before. And what could
be fresher than meeting my brand new grandson Heath, born just a few days ago
– welcome into the world!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For Heath, and for everyone: in those
times when life gets tough and you’re suffering, I can’t offer you better
words of hope than these, from Irish poet John O’Donoghue: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #181818; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"On
the day when the weight deadens on your shoulders and you stumble, may </span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #181818; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">the clay
dance to balance you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6pF639e4KTc/V7BOz3kJUpI/AAAAAAAAASc/lna3XKfuTKk4cUR0WPDTHYeSlhBGD6XJACLcB/s1600/meadow%2Bof%2Bdelight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6pF639e4KTc/V7BOz3kJUpI/AAAAAAAAASc/lna3XKfuTKk4cUR0WPDTHYeSlhBGD6XJACLcB/s320/meadow%2Bof%2Bdelight.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #181818; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">And
when your eyes freeze behind the grey window and the ghost of loss gets in to
you, may a flock of colours, indigo, red, green, and azure blue come to awaken
in you a meadow of delight.</span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #181818; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And
so may a slow wind work these words of love around you, an invisible cloak to
mind your life."</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #181818; font-family: Merriweather; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"> </span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-38285673888980975392016-08-06T08:56:00.001-07:002016-08-06T08:56:13.809-07:00Practical hopefulness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<span class="A7"><div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So far I have been writing about the importance of
compassion, and about the best ways of being positive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now it’s time to think about what practical
steps we can take to help a person in distress become more hopeful about their
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Of course, a lot depends on how much knowledge and skill we
possess. Doctors, psychologists and mental health nurses, for example, have
access to drugs or therapeutic techniques, which aren’t available for
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Faith leaders and counsellors
have status and training that can often be of particular benefit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But we can all offer important, practical help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Two well-tested things that anybody can offer are <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mental
Health First Aid</i></b>, and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Psychological First Aid</i></b>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, with a little training, there’s <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Problem
Management Plus</i></b>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Mental Health First Aid</span></i><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> (MHFA) is helpful for anybody who is suffering from mental
or emotional distress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This graphic
shows you the five main ingredients:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iKNs92ddUvk/V6YFOKa5mKI/AAAAAAAAASI/PyyrLdkA8vkDsFgxuh6gUMRHx54eV1SmwCEw/s1600/MHFA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iKNs92ddUvk/V6YFOKa5mKI/AAAAAAAAASI/PyyrLdkA8vkDsFgxuh6gUMRHx54eV1SmwCEw/s640/MHFA.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, for
Darren, I’m there to assist with his crises, like when he gets his sickness
benefit turned down. I’m always willing to listen to his concerns and his
worries. I give him information about courses and things he could do to improve
his drumming skills. I offer him the choice of seeing the mental health team,
and I encourage him to keep in touch with his friends even after they’ve had
arguments. </span></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you want
to find out more about MHFA, you can download a free app by clicking on </span></span><a href="https://mhfa.com.au/resources/mental-health-first-aid-downloads"><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light";"><span style="color: blue;">this link</span></span></a><span style="font-size: small;">.
</span><span>It takes your through the five steps and gives
you <span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">lots of
helpful suggestions. </span></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
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<span class="A7"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Psychological First Aid</span></i></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(PFA) is designed to help with communal
suffering caused by disaster situations, such as the Ebola crisis in West
Africa, or asylum seekers and refugees fleeing turmoil in Syria and Libya. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
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<span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As you can
see from the next graphic, PFA has three key elements: </span></span><span class="A7"><span style="color: red; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Look</span></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">, </span></span><span class="A7"><span style="color: red; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Listen
</span></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">and </span></span><span class="A7"><span style="color: red; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Link</span></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ET0j8To0q5I/V6YFR6XqVuI/AAAAAAAAASM/BLYWkqQSDB0Ns0I-4m7RStO-JSsPJwyYACEw/s1600/PFA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="403" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ET0j8To0q5I/V6YFR6XqVuI/AAAAAAAAASM/BLYWkqQSDB0Ns0I-4m7RStO-JSsPJwyYACEw/s640/PFA.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><!--[endif]--></span></span></span><span class="A7"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="Pa6" style="margin: 2pt 0cm;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s all about providing practical care and
support and protecting people from further harm. It’s particularly useful for
vulnerable groups, such as <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 55 Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Children and adolescents, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">especially those separated from their caregivers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="Pa6" style="margin: 2pt 0cm 2pt 18pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -18pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 55 Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">People with health conditions or physical and
mental disabilities. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 55 Roman";">People at risk of
discrimination or violence, </span><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light";">such as women or
people of certain ethnic groups</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light";">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="Pa6" style="margin: 2pt 0cm;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Frutiger 45 Light"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">PFA promotes people’s long-term recovery
because it helps them to feel safe, connected to others, calm and hopeful. It
offers social, physical and emotional support, so people are better able to
help themselves, as individuals and communities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="Default" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Arial;">You can read more about PFA </span></span><a href="http://www.searo.who.int/srilanka/documents/psychological_first_aid_guide_for_field_workers.pdf?ua=1"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">,
and watch a brief video about it </span><a href="https://www.jointokyo.org/en/programs/catalogue/PFA"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: large;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: large;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"> </span></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="Default" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p>If you would like to be more actively involved, I suggest you learn about <em>Problem Management Plus</em> (PM+). </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">PM+ has been developed by the World Health Organisation to
help adults facing adversity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
involves five weekly sessions and covering four main topics:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">managing problems<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">managing stress<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">getting going and
keeping doing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">strengthening social
support<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s been shown to be effective in high, middle and low
income countries. It’s similar to the Positive Thoughts Courses that Sue runs
regularly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And very importantly, it can be delivered by people with no
mental health expertise, after a brief training. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you want to find out more about PM+, click on </span><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282244174_Problem_Management_Plus_PM_A_WHO_transdiagnostic_psychological_intervention_for_common_mental_health_problems"><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;">this link</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span></o:p></span></div>
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Next time: taking care of ourselves. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-46497944026176248672016-07-31T02:08:00.000-07:002016-07-31T02:13:08.354-07:00Being positive <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">For most people, sharing their suffering is just the first step on the way
out of the dark woods in which they find themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s now consider the relevance of being
positive. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Expressing hope and
optimism, and taking a positive approach to a problem, are usually more helpful
than expressing doubt and uncertainty. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But we need to be a bit
careful how we do this. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7XbCJjbVjUs/V52-dOEM89I/AAAAAAAAAR4/bu2_E-GbO7Q8fmiwnFVi7FOT9_FKyDJ_QCLcB/s1600/sinead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7XbCJjbVjUs/V52-dOEM89I/AAAAAAAAAR4/bu2_E-GbO7Q8fmiwnFVi7FOT9_FKyDJ_QCLcB/s200/sinead.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">If we are too cheerful too soon,
before the other person has had time to tell their story, they may think we
just don’t care or understand. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s
how <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auUPqxI1vqg" target="_blank">Sinéad O’Connor</a> puts it: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Century Gothic";"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I went to the doctor and guess what he told me</span></span></i><i><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">…</span></i><i><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Century Gothic";"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> He said, "Girl, you better try to have fun no matter what you do</span></span></i><i><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">“</span></i><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><i><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Century Gothic";">. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But he's a fool.</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So, don’t rush in too
quickly with your hopeful words.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Then we need to think what
sort of positive approach is best to take. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I can think of at least
four different ways. I may tell Sinéad that I’m an expert and can solve the
problem for them; or that we can work on the problem together; or that she has
the resources to manage it herself; or that her problem will get easier on its
own, given time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">These approaches all convey
hope and optimism, but they are all very different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">We need to tailor them to
the understanding of the person we are hoping to help. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">For example, an expert approach
might be more helpful if Sinéad believed she was suffering from a disease or an
illness; but as she sees herself having problems with her relationships, a
shared or time-focused approach is more likely to be helpful for her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So it’s worth finding out
how the person we’re hoping to help see things. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">In any event, shaping the
patient’s story in a more hopeful direction is likely to be valuable. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Talking with Darren, I aim
to build on his strengths: his obvious intelligence and his drumming
skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And we can see hopeful
shaping in this consultation between a doctor and a patient with muscular
dystrophy: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1caFFjeUtWw/V52-XsRcu0I/AAAAAAAAASA/CzYJOhmSohsooyBtLk4st0-TfKho6gT9gCEw/s1600/beacon%2Bof%2Bhope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1caFFjeUtWw/V52-XsRcu0I/AAAAAAAAASA/CzYJOhmSohsooyBtLk4st0-TfKho6gT9gCEw/s320/beacon%2Bof%2Bhope.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;">P: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">t's</span> <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">just quite painful and tiring and depressing</span>.</i>
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;">D: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yes, yes. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;">P:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> <i>and I've been really
cold since I came back, just can't seem <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>to
get warm so it's just very diff-, very depressing</i>. <i>Sorry</i>.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">D: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It's not easy to put up with,
this, is it? You're obviously somebody, you like to keep very active and
getting around the place and doing what you want to do.</span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "constantia" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;">’</span><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;">P:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>I just don't want it to
be on top of me, and it feels like it's on top of me</i>. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><span style="color: black; font-size: 14pt;">D: </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: Constantia;">We've got to reverse that, haven't we<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">? We can't get rid of the dystrophy,</span><span style="color: #4f81bd; mso-themecolor: accent1;"> </span>but you can be on top of
it rather than the other way<span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;">,
rather than the other way round somehow.</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">This is a beautiful example of sensitive, person-centred
optimism, which we can all learn from. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Next time – some practical steps to encourage hopefulness.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-91351240048770487582016-07-24T02:09:00.000-07:002016-07-24T02:09:37.921-07:00Tears at the heart of things <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last week I wrote about how
difficult it can be to listen to the suffering of other people. I also suggested some ways we can become better at that. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here's why this matters: bearing witness to suffering, giving a sense of being understood and
accepted, is the first - essential – step towards finding hope. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UCef7hoqmcc/V5SEJIlBciI/AAAAAAAAARQ/D5paKFgrjScZ6Rx1XfGqGm5-zFEBloBZgCLcB/s1600/virgil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UCef7hoqmcc/V5SEJIlBciI/AAAAAAAAARQ/D5paKFgrjScZ6Rx1XfGqGm5-zFEBloBZgCLcB/s200/virgil.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’d like to go back a couple
of thousand years here, to get some help from the Roman poet Virgil, and his
epic poem the Aeneid which describes the travels of Aeneas after the Trojan
War. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Stay with me, this will make
sense in a minute!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the first book of the
Aeneid, we find </span></span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeneas" title="Aeneas"><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Aeneas</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> as a refugee, driven
far from his home by the vicious ravages of the Trojan war. He is in Carthage,
gazing at a mural in a temple, which depicts battles of the </span></span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trojan_War" title="Trojan War"><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trojan
War</span></span></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> and the deaths of many of his friends
and countrymen. He is moved to tears, and offers a rousing tribute to his
fallen comrades. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the middle of this, he says: ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sunt lacrimae rerum’. </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes I know, your Latin is probably a
bit rusty, but don’t worry…… </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">These three words - <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sunt lacrimae rerum -</i> have been
translated as either ‘there are tears for things’, or else ‘there are tears of
things’.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first version – tears for
things - indicates the burdens we have to bear, the frailty of human existence,
the ‘shit life syndrome’ people like Darren (who you met last week) experience.
The second version – tears of things- indicates that things feel sorrow for our
suffering - that in some sense the universe feels our pain. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wXMILfsHZ1M/V5SC-jLmmKI/AAAAAAAAARM/4kcKFnQG3q8eKRgmvIwjRfSxXf5PqqzYgCEw/s1600/seamus%2Bheaney.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wXMILfsHZ1M/V5SC-jLmmKI/AAAAAAAAARM/4kcKFnQG3q8eKRgmvIwjRfSxXf5PqqzYgCEw/s200/seamus%2Bheaney.png" width="160" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But of course it isn’t one or the
other. It’s both. Virgil is fully aware of the ambiguity and wishes to us to
understand both meanings at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So does the Irish poet and scholar Seamus
Heaney, who translates the phrase as ‘<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">There
are tears at the heart of things</b></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">.</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">’ </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And this is its richness and power. At
that moment when I experience and express compassion for the suffering of the
person in the room with me, both senses of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sunt
lacrimae rerum</i> are simultaneously in play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They can express pain, distress and suffering, knowing that – from me - they
find understanding, compassion and safety. Our meeting place has become,
momentarily, a sanctuary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Sometimes bearing witness to a person’s suffering in the face of
overwhelming life experiences and difficulties,<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>may be all that is possible, or necessary</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">. </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Listening to Darren, behind his angry ranting I hear a lost, lonely, frightened
little boy. I want to give him a huge hug and bring him home with me, but I content
myself with a friendly smile, a warm handshake, and an agreement to meet again
soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What’s your experience of bearing witness to suffering?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-26162412604864416442016-07-16T08:34:00.001-07:002016-07-16T08:34:59.251-07:00Suffering and hope<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
<o:p><span style="font-size: 14pt;">When we’re caring for someone going through difficult experiences in their life, there are two main things we need to do: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">acknowledge suffering</b> and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">offer
hope</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-I0c0nUCcVco/V4pN4o115oI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/k9wry2YyinIsZTwcooc3Zeo9Hx-qw5hGQCEw/s1600/beacon%2Bof%2Bhope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-I0c0nUCcVco/V4pN4o115oI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/k9wry2YyinIsZTwcooc3Zeo9Hx-qw5hGQCEw/s320/beacon%2Bof%2Bhope.jpg" width="211" /></a><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-obCD5WdDbo0/V4pObaTZHhI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/tlDwN0_6ZBM8PpWTkAGQ5wWdDsWd1Wa-QCEw/s1600/suffering.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="254" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-obCD5WdDbo0/V4pObaTZHhI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/tlDwN0_6ZBM8PpWTkAGQ5wWdDsWd1Wa-QCEw/s320/suffering.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"></span> </div>
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<span>I’m going to explore these two themes in a series of
posts over the next few weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WNs_fsp0PLM/V4pN9rCPQZI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/nSYp0eycuII2ci2aHqMEFoAYpMpGa74eACEw/s1600/GM%2Bhopkins.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WNs_fsp0PLM/V4pN9rCPQZI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/nSYp0eycuII2ci2aHqMEFoAYpMpGa74eACEw/s200/GM%2Bhopkins.png" width="167" /></a></div>
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<span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Let's start with <strong>a</strong></span><strong>cknowledging suffering.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Suffering
may be expressed in the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins: </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt; letter-spacing: -0.15pt;">No worst, there is
none. Pitched past pitch of grief/More pangs will, schooled at forepangs,
wilder ring […..] O the mind, mind has mountains; cliffs of fall/ Frightful,
sheer, no-man-fathomed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fs1KMqJZYxY/V4pL2I8Th5I/AAAAAAAAAQc/FhCQfwYaP7oFLcr5F68M51pwFsHUENN1ACLcB/s1600/bacon%2B1952.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fs1KMqJZYxY/V4pL2I8Th5I/AAAAAAAAAQc/FhCQfwYaP7oFLcr5F68M51pwFsHUENN1ACLcB/s200/bacon%2B1952.jpg" width="166" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Or in the paintings of Francis
Bacon – currently on exhibition in Tate Liverpool - portraying his subjects ‘e</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">nclosed in the wretched glass capsule of the human
individual’<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Or in the expression of collective
suffering when (as WB Yeats puts it) ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Things
fall apart; the centre cannot hold; </i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world’</i>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>be it the continuing effects of the Iraq war
or the migration forced by political turmoil in Syria and Libya. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Or in the bristling, frustrated
anguish of 19 year old Darren, piercings through lip, nose and eyebrows,
scarring up both arms, who tells me about parental separation, fostering and
sexual abuse, bullying in school; and how booze keeps him from feeling too much
but leads to fights with friends, nightclub doorman and police. His only
comfort is beating the hell out of his drum kit in the middle of the night. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He doesn’t think he’ll live much longer, and I
fear he may be right.</span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-I0c0nUCcVco/V4pN4o115oI/AAAAAAAAAQs/mA5DIudncLw0mhTOxtNxKzdfPRuaTCNagCLcB/s1600/beacon%2Bof%2Bhope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div>
<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JwC9Lxc2pPs/V4pN01bJVQI/AAAAAAAAAQo/ykaIqH7ZhDgV2rxEN_z84VQpX701vYSogCLcB/s1600/listening-shiloh-sophia-mccloud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JwC9Lxc2pPs/V4pN01bJVQI/AAAAAAAAAQo/ykaIqH7ZhDgV2rxEN_z84VQpX701vYSogCLcB/s200/listening-shiloh-sophia-mccloud.jpg" width="170" /></a><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The first thing we need to do is to listen. In the words of the British psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion, we should be listening ‘without memory or desire’: </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">when we listen with memory, we are intent on making the speaker part of an old agenda; when we listen with desire we are intent on making them part of a new one. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">To
listen purely, to just listen, is the most valuable thing. </span><span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">But
it is also the most difficult thing. I don’t know about you, but I often find
it exhausting, debilitating, to give my full attention to the suffering of
others. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">We often find ways to
protect ourselves – to distance ourselves - from the full emotional impact of
what our patients are trying to tell us. A bit of me doesn’t want to hear what
Darren is telling me – it’s too raw, too real, too painful. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But we can do better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Ronald Epstein recommends
that we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">turn toward</i> suffering:
actively seek to recognise it, become curious about the person’s experience,
and intentionally become more present and engaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">What help me to turn toward
suffering are daily mindfulness meditation, my weekly 5k parkruns, and being
able to discuss knotty problems with my wise wife Sue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> What helps <u>you </u>turn
toward suffering? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Next time - the first steps in <strong>offering hope.</strong> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">
</span></div>
</o:p><div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
</div>
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</div>
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</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-47199697110517278942016-07-06T14:59:00.005-07:002016-07-06T15:30:09.395-07:00Yes country and western music does hold the meaning of life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: large;">After a long pause, a message from Sue:</span> <br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">I’m listening to Vince Gill- <b>look at us.</b> Also I was checking on
the blog and realised there had been a bit of a hiatus in chapters And
realised how the two probably mirrored life since Chris’ accident 2years
ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">But to get back to Vince. To make it easier I’ve cleverly added the
words to the blog, well arranged for them to be added. On the surface it’s
a lovely tale of happy ever after. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Look at us after all these years
together<br>
Look at us after all that we've been through<br>
Look at us still leaning on each other<br>
If you wanna see how true love should be then just look at us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Look at you still pretty as a picture<br>
Look at me still crazy over you<br>
Look at us still believing in forever<br>
If you wanna see how true love should be then just look at us.<o:p></o:p></span></i><br>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">In a hundred years from now<br>
I know without a doubt<br>
They'll all look back and wonder<br>
How we made it all work out.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Chances are we'll go down in history<br>
When they wanna see<br>
How true love should be<br>
They'll just look at us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Chances are we'll go down in history</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">When they wanna see<br>
How true love should be<br>
They'll just look at us.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">When they wanna see<br>
How true love should be<br>
They'll just look at us...<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">But it says more than that. <b>“After all that we’ve been
through”</b> No ones’ life is without its ups and downs. Some much
more down than up. I was on holiday in Crete recently. Looking at
the beautiful Aegean Sea I couldn’t help but think of the refugees who experience
it in such a different way. <o:p></o:p></span><br>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">Still leaning on each other</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> – that’s what it’s all about.
Sometimes one leaning more than the other, and the leant-on wondering if
they’ll need a prop to help them not fall over! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">And it’s important that we do recognise when extra props are essential.
Different for everyone. Maybe friends, medical help, prayer,
meditation. There’s always something however leant on or nearly down we
feel. Useful to keep a list of them in your head when time are good so not so
much effort to recall when times aren’t so good. “Here’s one I
prepared earlier” we can think to ourselves' ringing a friend to ask for help<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"> </span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">How we made it all work out</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">. Not just by taking advice from
country and western songs although I probably can offer a song for every one of
life eventualities. By working at it. Doing what’s needed at the
time. Not dismissing the little changes we can make. Since back from my
holiday I’ve got involved in MerseyAid, mainly sorting donated clothes for
refugees. And getting Chris not to work too hard is still a work in
progress!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">So that’s life care of the country scene!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 5pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">PS <b>The Dance </b>by Garth Brooks. Tells us we have to
take a chance on life. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
But you’ll never know till you try.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;">And now I'm glad I didn't know<br>
The way it all would end the way it all would go<br>
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain<br>
But I'd have had to miss the dance<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-65980721213753477822015-03-25T05:02:00.000-07:002015-03-25T05:02:07.927-07:00In praise of uncertainty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">All too often, I plan my life away. I make
arrangements way ahead, work out what I’m going to be doing weeks or months in
advance. It gives me a sense of security, the impression that I’m in control of
my life. And when things go wrong - or seem to go wrong – then it’s all about
how to fix it. What can I do right now, straightaway, to make it better? <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There’s also a strong sense of that when I’m
in my GP surgery. People come to see me with problems, often hugely distressing
problems. It feels like it’s my job to help to fix them – in just 10 minutes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And when I’m working as a researcher, there’s
continual pressure to come up with quick answers and solutions.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But, let’s just hold on a minute…… Perhaps
that’s not always the best way to go. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Being uncertain, not being sure, not rushing
to make my mind up: perhaps that has some advantages.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VScQ0ZDOjvA/VRKi3C0BG1I/AAAAAAAAAPo/aXoTKwYNPPs/s1600/Keats.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VScQ0ZDOjvA/VRKi3C0BG1I/AAAAAAAAAPo/aXoTKwYNPPs/s1600/Keats.png" height="200" width="163" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">‘Negative
capability’ is the term created by the poet John Keats. In a letter to his
brothers in 1817, he writes about how achievement is linked with the capacity
of ‘being in uncertainties. Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching
after fact and reason.’ </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The Irish poet Aubrey de Vere speaks for ‘the
doubt of one who would rather walk in mystery than in false lights, who awaits
that he may win, and who prefers the broken fragments of truth to the imposing
completeness of a delusion’. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This is important
not just in poetry (or in research), but in life, particularly when we are facing
our own distress, or the distress of others.</span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Maybe we don’t need to try to work everything
out so quickly. Maybe it’s better to wait, to reflect, to allow events to
unfold for a while. Maybe it’s better to let the mysterious or doubtful remain just
that, rather than rushing to conclusions that may be false, or making decisions
that could turn out to be damaging. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As Beth Rushing says, there is ‘hope, and
truth, and beauty in the practice of negative capability, in listening
patiently, having a certain level of comfort with uncertainty, and in
recognizing that what <em><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">appears</span></em> to
be given, is not necessarily so’. </span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">For the psychoanalyst
Wilfred Bion, it’s about </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">listening ‘without memory or desire’.</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We do well to cultivate our</span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> ability to tolerate the pain and confusion of not knowing - rather than
imposing our ready-made certainties on ambiguous situations or challenges. </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
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space for something new, something transformative, to emerge.</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-28475829653432299152015-02-09T08:46:00.000-08:002015-02-09T08:46:23.590-08:00Breathing Space<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m doing a
lot of meditating these days, with the help of </span><a href="http://www.headspace.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Headspace.</span></a><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Twenty minutes or so, every morning, sitting
in my favourite chair. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often with a dog
curled up near me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wxfERFEmzbQ/VNjjO5z1TvI/AAAAAAAAAPA/115wNkSCx28/s1600/breathe%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wxfERFEmzbQ/VNjjO5z1TvI/AAAAAAAAAPA/115wNkSCx28/s1600/breathe%2B4.jpg" height="187" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">The focus of
the exercise is very much on my breathing. Not trying to alter it, or breathe
in any particular way. Just observing it. Noticing each time I breathe in and
out, how my chest moves out and in, the rise and fall of my belly. How each breath
is always just a little bit different from the next one. Some are quicker, some
slower; some are deeper, some shallower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The pauses between the breaths: how the pause after the out-breath is usually
longer than the pause after the in-breath. A wisp of air on my upper lip.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe
counting each breath, one in, two out, three in, four out…..up to ten, then
starting over again. Or maybe not, maybe just letting each breath come and go. Resting
my attention on the breath. Observing, watching, noticing, witnessing, all in a
relaxed sort of way. Nothing too intense.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2L_jvECvQ-g/VNjjV3WyvFI/AAAAAAAAAPI/mrHVxihNrDQ/s1600/waves.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2L_jvECvQ-g/VNjjV3WyvFI/AAAAAAAAAPI/mrHVxihNrDQ/s1600/waves.png" height="212" width="320" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes it
feels like I’m sitting on the sea shore, watching the waves coming in to land
on the beach. They keep on rolling. They are endlessly different, and endlessly
fascinating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you don’t have to do anything
about waves. They just happen. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">You might
think it is boring, but it isn’t. It’s gentle, kind and enjoyable. I often find
I’m smiling quietly to myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s
important, in a subtle, understated sort of a way. It creates more space for me. It puts
other things, my everyday busyness and concerns, into perspective. And if I do
get hassled during the day, I can take a few seconds out, just to breathe. I’m
finding all those things I have to do, somehow may not be as important, as
urgent, as serious or as worrying as I thought they were going to be. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-size: large;">So making time for breathing now, creates more
breathing space during the rest of the day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seems like a good deal to me!</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-78789013216813404152014-10-13T14:17:00.002-07:002014-10-13T14:17:51.874-07:00Curiosity<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C94JOx2Xl30/VDw_xOQa2HI/AAAAAAAAAOc/LJmo6nMAO5k/s1600/curiosity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C94JOx2Xl30/VDw_xOQa2HI/AAAAAAAAAOc/LJmo6nMAO5k/s1600/curiosity.jpg" height="140" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" unselectable="on"></a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" unselectable="on"></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My curiosity
is returning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For quite a few months
after my accident I was just plodding along, getting by, not thinking very much
about anything new or different. But now, as my brain heals itself, I find I am
beginning to look around me again, and starting to wonder about things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It feels great!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When I say curiosity, I
mean the eagerness and desire to find out about new things. I mean inquisitiveness,
an interest in strange and different experiences, a sense of excitement at
finding the unexpected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean asking
questions that start with “Why…..?”, “What if…..?” or “I wonder whether…..?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1HzOG_z40qA/VDw_1H0yPeI/AAAAAAAAAOk/nDYV9sv1Q-A/s1600/curious3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1HzOG_z40qA/VDw_1H0yPeI/AAAAAAAAAOk/nDYV9sv1Q-A/s1600/curious3.png" /></a></div>
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We are all born
with a sense of curiosity. Just watch any baby or small child looking around,
eager to explore and try something new.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Greek
philosopher Aristotle told us ‘All men by nature desire to know’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without it we would never learn anything,
never develop our potential. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Albert
Einstein said ‘</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-no-proof: yes;">I
have no special talent, I am only passionately curious’.</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And it turns
out that curiosity is good for our mental health, our wellbeing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<w:wrap type="square"/>
</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The American psychologist Barbara
Fredrickson reminds us how important our p</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">ositive
emotions are, because they increase our range of thoughts and actions. Curiosity
sparks the urge to explore. Joy sparks the urge to play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Contentment sparks the urge to savour and
integrate. Love sparks a recurring cycle of each of these urges within safe,
close relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Da_6VKiBMs8/VDw_3PSXzVI/AAAAAAAAAOs/KiDWi-dRmSk/s1600/curiosity.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Da_6VKiBMs8/VDw_3PSXzVI/AAAAAAAAAOs/KiDWi-dRmSk/s1600/curiosity.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Broadening our minds in
these ways, through exploration, play, savouring or integrating, promotes
discovery of new and creative actions, ideas and social networks. These in turn
build up our personal resources and provide lasting reserves for us to draw on
if life gets difficult again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Curiosity is effective
against fear of the different, the unknown. And it’s a much healthier (though
sadly less common) response to the different than prejudice. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Alexander von Humboldt was
a brilliant, but very anxious 19<sup>th</sup> century German explorer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He overcame his fear and worries by unceasing
curiosity. He made discoveries in an unparalleled range of sciences from botany
to geography.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He used his curiosity to
break down the barriers of prejudice and increase his enjoyment of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was a pioneer of global thinking, whose
reward was to feel in touch with the entire earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">You know the
old saying ‘Curiosity killed the cat’?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well,
if you look into its origins, it turns out to be just the opposite. The
original saying was ‘Care killed the cat’, where the word ‘care’ means worry,
sorrow or sadness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So we should
turn this upside down, and say ‘Curiosity <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cured
</i>the cat’. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="-ms-text-justify: inter-ideograph; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I wonder
what you’re wondering about just now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-3932317579293458502014-08-14T04:03:00.000-07:002014-08-14T04:03:45.542-07:00A bubble of joy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
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<v:stroke joinstyle="miter">
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</o:lock></v:path></v:stroke></span></v:shapetype><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" style="height: 240pt; margin-left: -26.25pt; margin-top: 14.6pt; mso-position-horizontal-relative: text; mso-position-horizontal: absolute; mso-position-vertical-relative: text; mso-position-vertical: absolute; mso-wrap-distance-bottom: 0; mso-wrap-distance-left: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-right: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-top: 0; mso-wrap-style: square; position: absolute; visibility: visible; width: 180pt; z-index: 1;" type="#_x0000_t75"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
<v:imagedata o:title="archpond" src="file:///C:\Users\cfd\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg">
<w:wrap type="square">
</w:wrap></v:imagedata></span></v:shape><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Our local
community centre is closed for the summer, so we’re holding our Monday evening <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tai chi</i> class in my back garden. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-685rrjB7bLM/U-yWtaPFY9I/AAAAAAAAAOI/Yoxm0HEFQZs/s1600/arch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-685rrjB7bLM/U-yWtaPFY9I/AAAAAAAAAOI/Yoxm0HEFQZs/s1600/arch.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
dozen of us, working our way through the movements. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’m
barefoot, feeling the soft grass and firm ground beneath. The threat of rain
has passed and the sun is warming my face. The wind comes up, gusting towards
me through the wooden arch by the pond, resonating in the trees overhead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A
bubble of joy swells from my belly, up into my head.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span><br /></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-50869894903597206122014-04-25T09:07:00.000-07:002014-04-25T09:07:11.556-07:00Trying Easier<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most of the time, we think we really should be trying harder. If
only we did a little bit more, things would work out OK. It’s all about achievement,
success, doing more and doing it better. If at first you don’t succeed, try,
try and try again. It’s drilled into us from an early age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Study more. Get a promotion. Run faster.
Score more goals. Be a better parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But right now, for me, it’s different. After <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3147739185627867093#editor/target=post;postID=5029354514907820355;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=3;src=postname" target="_blank">my cycling accident</a> I’ve developed a mild traumatic brain injury. I’m easily tired, my
mind often feels foggy. It’s difficult to concentrate for long. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So the advice I’m getting now is – don’t try harder, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;">try easier</span></b>.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span> </div>
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-F5S2tCAJiGE/U1qGQVLXLPI/AAAAAAAAANQ/WVzOhf1Ydn8/s1600/take+it+easy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-F5S2tCAJiGE/U1qGQVLXLPI/AAAAAAAAANQ/WVzOhf1Ydn8/s1600/take+it+easy.jpg" height="146" width="400" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I need to take things easy, give my brain a rest so it has
the chance to recover. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This turns lots of things on their head.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_s1027" style="height: 124.5pt; left: 0px; margin-left: -5.25pt; margin-top: 39.4pt; mso-position-horizontal-relative: text; mso-position-horizontal: absolute; mso-position-vertical-relative: text; mso-position-vertical: absolute; mso-wrap-distance-bottom: 0; mso-wrap-distance-left: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-right: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-top: 0; mso-wrap-style: square; position: absolute; text-align: left; visibility: visible; width: 317.65pt; z-index: -2;" type="#_x0000_t75" wrapcoords="-102 0 -102 21340 21624 21340 21624 0 -102 0"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
<v:imagedata o:title="take it easy" src="file:///C:\Users\cfd\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg">
<w:wrap type="tight">
</w:wrap></v:imagedata></span></v:shape><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s better for me to
put things off until tomorrow, even though I could do them today.
Procrastination is no longer the thief of time – it’s the essence of healing. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>‘You snooze, you
lose’. Not any more. Quite the opposite. My afternoon siesta is essential to
keep me going throughout the day. So for me it’s now ‘You snooze, you win.’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Laziness, slacking, indolence, idleness, sloth: that is
supposed to be one of the seven deadly sins, but not any more. Now it’s a cardinal
virtue. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t always find it easy to take it easy. Trying harder is
so ingrained in me that trying easier doesn’t come naturally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to remind myself, stop myself doing
stuff that I really don’t need to do, or not just yet. And it’s surprising –
and liberating – how many things that I was convinced were absolutely essential
turn out to be a bit less important after all. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world hasn’t quite ground to a halt
because I’m not doing as much as I used to. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s about <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3147739185627867093#editor/target=post;postID=5175893453721677786;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=19;src=postname" target="_blank">being, not doing</a>. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JUnm-79HXxE/U1qGTWbGESI/AAAAAAAAANY/LCl5IwqGOLM/s1600/imagesCAK2KYE3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JUnm-79HXxE/U1qGTWbGESI/AAAAAAAAANY/LCl5IwqGOLM/s1600/imagesCAK2KYE3.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<v:shape id="Picture_x0020_2" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" style="height: 150pt; left: 0px; margin-left: 338.25pt; margin-top: -18.75pt; mso-position-horizontal-relative: text; mso-position-horizontal: absolute; mso-position-vertical-relative: text; mso-position-vertical: absolute; mso-wrap-distance-bottom: 0; mso-wrap-distance-left: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-right: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-top: 0; mso-wrap-style: square; position: absolute; text-align: left; visibility: visible; width: 150pt; z-index: -1;" type="#_x0000_t75" wrapcoords="-216 0 -216 21384 21600 21384 21600 0 -216 0"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
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<w:wrap type="tight">
</w:wrap></v:imagedata></span></v:shape><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’m enjoying my
weekly tai chi classes, and I’ve taken up meditation again, with the help of a
website called Headspace. They help me to be aware of how things are, notice my
experiences and feelings, without having to worry or do anything about them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I’m building up my physical fitness. I’m back on my bike
– off road – and it feels great.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trying easier is helping me heal. It is refreshing. I can
feel the benefits – each week a bit more energy, a bit more headspace. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I gently recommend it! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-47813530006848428082013-12-03T08:01:00.000-08:002013-12-03T08:01:09.414-08:00Off Balance<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Sometimes you can be moseying along, feeling
pretty good about how you are coping with life – and then everything goes
pear-shaped......<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Well, that’s happened to me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was making steady progress after <a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/reasons-to-be-cheerful.html" target="_blank">my cycling accident</a> when, one night on my way to the loo, I suddenly realised I couldn’t
walk straight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world seemed to be
turning round and round. I couldn’t work out what was up and what was down. My
head was spinning. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to hang on to
the wall for dear life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The next morning
was no better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Walking downstairs was too
terrifying to contemplate, so bum-shuffled instead (which confused the dogs no
end.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And no, before you ask, I hadn’t been on the
ale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It was vertigo. It’s common after head trauma.
The collision dislodges the tiny stones in the inner ear (otoliths) which are
responsible for balance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It’s better now. I’ve had time to reflect
on my responses to this, and how they might make sense for different sorts of unexpected problems. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MbReKZfRLqs/Up38HIkDEvI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/a0OEqeIzquQ/s1600/homer-fear1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MbReKZfRLqs/Up38HIkDEvI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/a0OEqeIzquQ/s320/homer-fear1.jpg" width="320" /></a><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
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</w:wrap></v:imagedata></v:fill></span></v:shape><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Panic. </span></i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Yes, I’m afraid so, panic is the
first thing you do. It’s pretty inevitable when something unpleasant and
unexpected happens, no matter how calm and capable you like to think you
are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My precarious night-time trip to
the bathroom was accompanied by various silent expletives, ‘You cannot be
serious’ and ‘What the **** is happening’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not funny, not at all. I was scared. I
was knocked off balance - literally and metaphorically.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Find a place
of safety. </span></i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If you can, find somewhere out of harm's way, to ride out the
storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me it was lying on my back in
bed, moving as little as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
didn’t know what was happening, how long it was going to go on, whether it
would get better or worse. But just lying there I had a sense of calm, of acceptance.
In Gabrielle Roth’s words, I was ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">finding
comfort in the sweet territory of silence’</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Distract yourself.
</span></i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If you’re
stuck somewhere bad and can’t do anything about it, then it’s good to take your
mind off it all, distract yourself. Switch from right brain (feelings) to left
brain (thought). I decided to try and remember the names of the main characters
in <em>The Wire.</em> I got lots of them – McNulty, Bunk, Daniels, Avon and DiAngelo, Bubbles
and the brilliant Omar Little. For some reason I couldn’t recall Stringer Bell
(psychoanalysts will have their theories, I’m sure). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Find support.
</span></i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
need someone who’s there for you, who can calm things down a bit and help you
think about what to do next. For me that’ was the easy bit. I just told Sue and
she was there like a shot. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></i><br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 18pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Seek help. </span></i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You still need someone to help you fix the
problem, or at least manage it as best you can. Within 24 hours I was in touch with
the wonderful Nova Mullin, balance therapist from our local hospital. She has exactly
the right combination of wisdom and confidence, assured me it was going to get
better and started me on exercises I could do even with my neck in a brace. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bQN7F8RvSNI/Up37j0xtNmI/AAAAAAAAAMI/UxpDi28oWXA/s1600/imagesCASB2N7K.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bQN7F8RvSNI/Up37j0xtNmI/AAAAAAAAAMI/UxpDi28oWXA/s1600/imagesCASB2N7K.jpg" /></a><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">A</span><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" style="height: 168pt; left: 0px; margin-left: 10.5pt; margin-top: 0.25pt; mso-position-horizontal-relative: text; mso-position-horizontal: absolute; mso-position-vertical-relative: text; mso-position-vertical: absolute; mso-wrap-distance-bottom: 0; mso-wrap-distance-left: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-right: 9pt; mso-wrap-distance-top: 0; mso-wrap-style: square; position: absolute; text-align: left; visibility: visible; width: 159pt; z-index: 2;" type="#_x0000_t75"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
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</w:wrap></v:imagedata></span></v:shape><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">s I say, I’m
a lot better now. I can do White Crane Spreads Wings again in my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">tai chi </i>class - though not yet with my eyes
closed!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-add-space: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I wonder if this makes sense for you. How
did you respond, the last time something unexpectedly horrible happenened? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; text-align: justify;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/reasons-to-be-cheerful.html" target="_blank">my cycling accident</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-67946834476927530752013-11-20T09:15:00.000-08:002013-11-20T09:15:41.704-08:00Grief and Joy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Here
are four of the many wise and thoughtful responses I’ve received to my most recent
posts, plus a beautiful poem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The writers have given their
permission for me to share their thoughts with you. I hope you find them as helpful as I do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<h3 class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p>1. </o:p></span></h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was thinking, "Don't rush. Grief
doesn't have a destination. It's a journey of a lifetime". <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wonder if you have read "Carrying the Elephant"
by Michael Rosen? It's the first of three volumes of poetry for adults,
primarily about the death of his son. He has some powerful imagery about
"walking along". I find this helpful, and the poem always makes
me cry. I think the whole journey of life thing is a bit trite, but I
like the idea that we walk along. I take myself to the lakes and think of
those who accompany me on the way, sometimes we hold hands, sometimes pulling
or helping each other, sometimes the kids and dogs dash about in front.
There are those who walk with us for a while, join another group then
return, and those who just spend a short time with us. There are those
with whom we walk in comfortable silence, and those to whom we cannot stop
chattering. We take in the ever changing view, in all its weathers.
I find life can be hard to make sense of, and I find this idea comforting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
2. <span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My brother died nearly 15 years ago, and I still miss him.
I found it took a year before I was back to normal functioning. One of the
hardest things was not the absolute grief – which was like falling off a cliff
into profound sadness, but the brain fog. Quite simple tasks became
almost impossible, and academic work was quite beyond me. My experience
was that with time, and by that I mean over the course of the year, not just a
few weeks, although the level of sadness didn’t diminish, the frequency of falling
off the cliff did, and each time I fell off, it lasted slightly less
long. So I went from being always at the bottom of the cliff, to being
mostly at the top of the cliff, but with episodes of feeling the same searing
loss as right at the beginning. It was like losing half my self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I’d like
to add one more thought that came to me while reading your blog: when one
grieves a loved one, the more this person was important to us, the heavier
we’ll feel when we lose this person because to some extent, this person
inhabits us more; we sometimes feel responsible for pursuing this person’s
mission; thus it feels like gaining a lot of weight suddenly and having to
learn how to balance our body with this new weight after. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-CA" style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
3.</h3>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I agree completely when you challenge
the foolish notion that there is a set ‘healthy’ period of time to grieve.
Simply not true! Loss affects everyone differently; the person, your
relationship and manner of their passing also play a large part in determining
how you come to terms with what has happened. In many ways, you never recover
from what has happened, but you learn to accept it and manage your emotions. I
know that my grief is managed when I can let go of those moments I missed or
wasted (survivor’s guilt?), and think of that person with a sense of joy that
overrides my sorrow. Other times I relive the grief as raw as ever, usually
when I think I <i>should</i> have moved on – but this is not something that
makes me concerned or ashamed. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I feel that in many ways people
are the memories they gain and share with others. These transcend being, and
can never be taken away from you. I will feel sadness as well as happiness, and
this will probably continue in waves throughout my life. It means that the
person was important to me. And I find that to be a comforting thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<h3 style="text-align: left;">
4. <span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></h3>
<span style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Thinking/wondering about grief and how long it
lasts, I think we can be still grieving gently at some level while learning to
live on without the person we mourn, so these two experiences co-exist within
us. There isn't a 'stop time' when the grief has ebbed away and we see no mark
of it on the sand; there isn't a 'start time' when happiness and lightness
begins again and we exchange one for the other. Each informs the other,
perhaps. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In the poem 'Lovers on Aran' Heaney asks a wonderful
question of the Aran land-sea scape: 'Did sea define the land, or land the
sea?' and he goes on to say that 'each drew new meaning from the waves'
collision'. I wonder if perhaps grief and joy are just like that, defining each
other, quite powerfully, each drawing new meaning from the collision that
happens within our identify when we are shaken and upended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And I think of how you've also had to cope with your
accident and the whole recovery process, and that 'squishiness of being' that
reminds us we are so very vulnerable, and so very precious. And how in your
blog you talked about handing over to others to take care of you. I imagine
that here, too, in the collision of strength and weakness in our physical
being, we might find some definition, some new meaning/s about who we sense ourselves
to be, our growing identity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #002060; font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It's late, it's a dark blue night, the wind is
sweeping in from the west; rain is gusting down from the Connemara hills and
sparkling against the windows. I send my warmest thoughts, and to Sue and
Sasha, every good wish. It sounds so good to have their care and comfort. I get
the impression you are forging ahead to where you want to be, so I'm also
sending various Irish pishogues, magical spells and mythical beings to speed
that up!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lovers on Aran</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The timeless waves,
bright, sifting, broken glass,<br />
Came dazzling around, into the rocks,<br />
Came glinting, sifting from the Americas<br />
<br />
To possess Aran. Or did Aran rush<br />
to throw wide arms of rock around a tide<br />
That yielded with an ebb, with a soft crash?<br />
<br />
Did sea define the land or land the sea?<br />
Each drew new meaning from the waves' collision.<br />
Sea broke on land to full identity. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><strong>Seamus Heaney</strong></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147739185627867093.post-50293545149078203552013-10-28T06:43:00.001-07:002013-10-28T06:43:43.616-07:00Reasons to be Cheerful<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I had a nasty accident ten days ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I was knocked off my bike in town by an
unobservant driver, ending up in a dramatic pool of blood in the middle of the
road. Broken nose, teardrop fracture to my 7<sup>th</sup> cervical vertebra, lots
of lacerations and bruises, and a fair bit of post-traumatic stress.....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">But also many reasons to be cheerful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It could all have been so much worse. I’m still here. No brain
injury (thank you, crash helmet). No spinal cord damage. </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span> </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><a href="http://wellbecoming.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/kindness-of-strangers.html" target="_blank">The kindness of strangers</a>. I’ve written about this before, and
here was living proof of it. Within seconds I was surrounded by passers-by
making sure I was alright and got the help I needed. Top of the list of good Samaritans
was Tracey Saphier, a nurse on her way home from work, who took charge of the
whole scene, making sure I didn’t move, mopping blood out of my eyes, talking
to Sue on the phone, checking on ambulance arrival time. Thank you kind people
of Liverpool, thank you Tracey.</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Our NHS is great in a crisis. It really is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget the bad press it gets these days. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ambulance team who got me onto a stretcher
and secured my neck; the amazing trauma team in the Royal Liverpool Hospital
who checked me out from top to toe in a matter of minutes (while chatting to me
about bikes and cycling gear); spinal surgeon Marcus de Matas who took all
possible care of my neck fracture; and the staff on Ward 4a who looked after me
while I couldn’t move for three days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
needed their help, and they were there. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sue is wonderful in a
crisis. She really is. She arrived at the hospital before the ambulance, fed me
yoghurt when I couldn’t reach the hospital food, guided me through a psychic
meltdown, and now is getting me back on my feet at home. I needed her help, and
she was there. </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The love of family and friends. Thank you all for being there, for
your kind words and actions, for looking after Sue as well as me. </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IItRHcZoYuU/Um5oJhkPVJI/AAAAAAAAALk/xqpSi-zTvvw/s1600/1401614_10151990394678384_139668335_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IItRHcZoYuU/Um5oJhkPVJI/AAAAAAAAALk/xqpSi-zTvvw/s320/1401614_10151990394678384_139668335_o.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My neck brace. My exo-skeleton (non-biologists, google it!) for
the next three months. It’s keeping my neck and back safe, and is deeply
reassuring. </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Time out. Now I can watch all five seasons of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Breaking Bad </i>in one go. </span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">All of the above (well, maybe not the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Breaking Bad</i> bit) are parts of something
bigger, something that I haven’t quite worked out but seems profound to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a while there, lying in the road and in
hospital, I was in a real mess, completely helpless and utterly dependent on
the care of others - something I’m not at all used to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">And it was OK. In fact more than OK, it was liberating.
I didn’t need to try and control my own destiny, it was fine to let go. I could
relax. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt – no, I <u>knew</u> – that
I was in safe hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So, one final reason to be cheerful.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 36pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Being alive is wonderful. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13932037969048941652noreply@blogger.com5